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(out April 2011)

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Suggested Edits for "Saucer"

Karl Taro Greenfeld

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Karl Greenfeld to Aaron                 4/7/10

Hi Aaron-
did you ever get a chance to read this one?



Aaron Burch to me                                                  4/13/10

Hey Karl,

I did! 
But then I wanted to read it again, and then I got wrapped up with the outdoors issue, and then everything else life-related, and this kinda slipped through the cracks, though it is admittedly still in the "needs to be replied to" pile.

I love it and would love to include it in Ho12. Issue #11 JUST came out, which puts this issue a good 6 months down the road, at least (probably closer to 8-9, but you never know), but I'd love to slot this next to a piece co-written by Lily Hoang and Brian Evenson as the first two pieces to be accepted for the issue, if you're game.



Karl Greenfeld to Aaron                 4/13/10

great! it's yours. 
i have new one's in the sun and the paris review. how was awp? i really want to go one of these years.


Aaron Burch to me                                                   1/20/11

Hey Karl,

This was either the first or second story I accepted for this issue, way back when I was still working on the last theme issue, no? Sorry the delay was much longer than hoped, but I’m taking another look at this and, wow, I feel really bad about this, but this story just needs a ton of work. Attached are a series of comments and questions, suggestions, areas where I think major revision is called for. Let me know what you think.



Karl Greenfeld to Aaron                 1/20/11

Dude, I’m kind of confused here. This has never happened to me before where a story is, like, accepted and then the editor comes at me with these kinds of requests? I don’t want to go point by point, but, for example. Setting the story in the 17th Century? WTF? That seems arbitrary. This is coming of age stuff in Southern California in the 70s, and you want the 17th Century?

And this whole thing that instead of high school it should be the Garden of Eden, again, I don’t get this. Also, this is just a ton of work, and I don’t think it makes anything better.

I’m lost.


Aaron Burch to me                                                   1/21/11

Hey Karl,

I meant to e-mail you about this stuff sooner. But I didn’t. Here’s the thing: issue 12 has a ton of stuff set in the 20th and the more recent centuries and we think the 17th Century totally works. So just try that, okay? And the Garden of Eden thing I’m totally flexible about. How about setting it on a ship? Like a Spanish Galleon? You can have the same dynamic, with like, the beautiful sister and the cripple and then, instead of a surfer, Saucer could be la really good sailor, like the best sailor on the Spanish Main! Everything else would still be the same.



Karl Greenfeld to Aaron                 1/22/11

I don’t see why if there are other stories in the issue set in the 20th Century, I have to change the historical period for my story? Spanish Galleons? WTF? Can’t you get Brian Eveson or someone else to change the period for his story?



Aaron Burch to me                                                   1/24/11

Hey Karl,

No. Look, here’s how the opening graph reads set in the 17th Century on a Spanish Galleon:

Shannon had reddish hair, curled like lazy rapids, green eyes, small nose and protuberant, exquisitely shaped lips. She was darkly pigmented for a red-head, her tight-pored skin bronzed and flawless. My sister had been the only seaman in the history of the Santisima Trinidad to attend the Grand Ball of the Duchy of Aragorn.  By the time she herself was a mid-shipman, she had attained a level of local fame similar to a great conquistadora. Whispers followed her. Speculation: would she be a duchess?

This gives the story another level, makes it more of a bodice ripper, but kind of post modern at the same time. Just give it a try. For example, instead of sitting in a Bmw listening to the Knack, they can be on the poop deck, listening to a string quartet! See, it’s easy!




Karl Greenfeld to Aaron                  1/26/11

Grrrr. Okay, I’ll give it a try.



Karl Greenfeld to Aaron                  2/6/11

Ok. Here is a version set in the 17th Century on a Spanish Galleon. I think you’re right and it does work better.



Hey Karl                                                                      2/7/11

We’re gonna use the original version you submitted. (Evenson changed his time period.) Sorry for the confusion!



    Full Table of Contents

Metroid: An Appreciation
by Mike Meginnis

How to Build a Spaceship in Five Easy Steps
by Douglas Silver

Sea to Shining Sea company newsletter
by Debbie Graber

Suggested edits for "Saucer"
by Karl Taro Greenfeld

The Beartender (a photo w/ caption)
by Melinda Moustakis
Brian Oliu reads "Super Mario Bros." & "Ninja Gaiden Trilogy"

A Couple Short Movies Written
by Etgar Keret

Two Notable Emotion Pianists
by Sean Adams

What Could Have Also Been (Alternate Endings)
by Robert Baumann
An Annotated Map of Littlefield, TX
by Aubrey Hirsch
Addendum: Notes on the North Country
by Roxane Gay

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