Photo by Aaron Burch			Two Baseball Atrocities John Dermot Woods
				The Nine Innings of Morrie Rath Aubrey Hirsch
				Dan Sanders Hits a Grand Slam Dan Sanders
				The Mistakes of Summer Wendy Oleson
				Jesus Can't Hit a Curveball Patrick Walczy
				Seventh Inning Stretch Alice Lowe
				HOBART picks 2011 season)

Expecting Dodger Stadium to be half as awesome as Camelback Ranch

Asking husband why he can't lay down a bunt like he used to

Purchasing Swarovski crystal accented team logo tee from the Alyssa Milano MLB collection

Replacing bi-weekly hot yoga with daily seventh inning stretch

Hiring plumber with NYY tattoo

Deleting friends who post pictures of themselves in Red Sox gear

Throwing out houseguest's box of Cocoa Krispies

Covering illustrations of Curious George with pictures of the Rally Monkey

Telling children Grandma "flied out" of PHX

Hijacking friends' and families' e-mail addresses for extra All-Star votes

Telling husband about desire to ride Ichiro's Suzuki

Cutting onions while watching Broxton blow a save

Requesting red stitches

Eating all meals out of miniature batting helmets

Having another in honor of Harry Caray

Wendy Oleson is a Creative Writing PhD student at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, where she makes her students read essays about baseball. Wendy's work appears or is forthcoming in Copper Nickel, Smokelong Quarterly, the delinquent, and elsewhere.